But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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