Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
