So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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