Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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