OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We don't watch enough power rangers
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
