I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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