I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
