I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
