I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
