I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
