I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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