i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
