fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
