Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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