I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
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Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
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We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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