mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!