I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
