We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
