he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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