I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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