Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
