Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
