i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
