You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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