Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
