I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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