1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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