I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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