So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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