p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
