I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
