I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
