so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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