my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
