About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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