1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
