I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize