We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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