My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
