why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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