I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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