i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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