That's intense
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I supernannyed him into submission
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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