I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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