if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
