I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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