Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm just crazy horny about you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Everclear isn't food dammit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
