Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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