Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
