I didn't shave. On purpose
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
