Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
