Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
