'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
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I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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