Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize