I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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