There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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