I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
