super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
