Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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