I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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