Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
