So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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