I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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