My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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