If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
