Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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