i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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